Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Injury Report: Kellen Winslow

For those who have not heard it, Kellen Winslow's undisclosed injury was a serious one

"Kellen Winslow's Out With...Swollen Testicles?
After a summer filled with horrifying testicular injuries in hockey and baseball, it appears Cleveland Browns tight end Kellen Winslow is also having his own nut trouble and will possibly sit out Monday Night's game against the New York Giants. Pro Football Talk, quoting a league source, says that Winslow was admitted to the Cleveland Clinic "because his balls swelled to the size of grapefruits."
It was first reported as an "undisclosed illness" and head coach Romeo Crennell seemed to think it wasn't too serious, saying "his arms and legs aren't falling off or anything like that." Notice there's no mention of the peach basket, though, which is could be in peril.
Hopefully he just slept on them the wrong way or is having some sort of odd physical reaction to new laundry detergent or something because nobody should have to be put through such torture and humiliation.
We'll update as soon as there is further clarification..."

Some how, I feel that the Steeler will have some creative music choice when they play in Pittsburgh, like AC/DC's "Big Balls". But hey, that's how soldiers do, right?

3 comments:

Kamal said...

I guess his theme song over the weekend was "GROUPIE LOVE!" He ended up catching something else from one of those freaks instead of passes from Derek Anderson.

He should have left them hoes alone point blank.

S. Royston said...

Just goes to show, you can't be fucking around with Cleveland pussy. Unless it's Halle Berry.

Colin said...

This sounded too funny to be serious.